Hope

For Kimi-

Besides waiting to read your first post, I've been struggling lately with this idea of hope, since my own hope seems so... shatter-able. So these are the thoughts from my studying.

The everyday meaning of hope is fragile, like when I say to myself 'I hope the doctors diagnose this illness tomorrow"; but the gospel's definition is firm and lively. So wouldn't it be cool if I could say that at tomorrow's appointment I might with surety hope for a name for this weirdness that is my health? Or maybe a southern-baptist-like mystical healing? Yup. I'm one step ahead--- hoping for the wrong thing.

• So what can I hope for?: A better world (sounds a little pageant-y but...),eternal life, hope in the Lord, in the atonement for the resurrection and ... there it is-- We can "have patience, and bear with . . . afflictions, with a firm hope that ye shall one day rest from all your afflictions" (Alma 34:41)
• I'd like to point out that this scripture said day and day refers to time which doesn't really exist in the whole eternal life bit, so maybe I can try to remember that this one day really isn't too far away...? Or maybe, it really means you only get one day of rest... hmmm.
• Ok. I'll bite. How do I get the hope back? "If thou wilt repent of all thy sins, and will bow down before God, and call on his name in faith, believing that ye shall receive, then shalt thou receive the hope which thou desirest" (Alma 22:16)

Well there it is Kimi, ouch... to clear my head before I take it to Heavenly Father, here it is-- my most recent sins.

I've used pain and sickness as an excuse to be impatient, unhappy, and ungrateful for life, love, prayers, and service rendered. I taught Eden to cuss AND I trusted in men, and not the prophet kind of men (recommended), for answers that could only come from heaven; when the truth of it all is that I can be patient, happy, grateful, and hopeful, trusting Heavenly Father, through all of this-- without cussing. Can't I? Help me learn to take whatever heaven dishes out meal by meal, K Kim? Loves. Loo.