No therapy like hard work

The Little H on the P:

Kitchen Before Kitchen After

The Green-Eyed Jelly Monster

• Kimi and I recently discussed at length the sin of jealousy- the next day I watched a beautiful young, thin woman in a spectacular jade ballgown gobbled by the jelly monster. Her radiance shifted to green-eyed-envy when she observed a similarly spectacularly dressed young woman walk into the room. The change was so unattractive and the imagination of how badly a jealous expression must look on me led to my gospel study of the topic—so I apologize for the length.
• Screwtape explains the tactics of devils:
• “We (Satan’s Minions) now teach men to like women whose bodies are scarcely distinguishable from those of boys. Since this is a kind of beauty even more transitory than most, we thus aggravate the female’s chronic horror of growing old (with many excellent results) and render her less willing and less able to bear children. And this is not all. We have engineered a great increase in the license which society allows to the representation of the apparent nude (not the real nude) in art, and its exhibition on the stage or the bathing beach. It is all a fake, of course; the figures in the popular art are falsely drawn; the real women in bathing suits or tights are actually pinched in and propped up to make them appear firmer and more slender and more boyish than nature allows a full-grown woman to be […] As a result we are more and more directing the desires of men to something which does not exist—making the role of the eye in sexuality more and more important and at the same time making its demands more and more impossible. What follows you can easily forecast!”
• Screwtape goes on to explain that each man desires two women- a terrestrial one and an infernal venus. The terrestrial woman mixed with charity, obedience to marriage, naturalness and golden reverence lead the man to God. The infernal venus, which he is trained to desire as it is hardly in existence, will lead him to a very lasting and exquisite kind of unhappiness.
• -Screwtape Letters, p.59-60; C.S. Lewis
• So I figure, I have two choices—will I work and think myself into the terrestrial woman that leads men to God or will I work and try to make myself into an infernal venus-who in actuality can never exist because of the dictates of nature—and also who, if I try to become, will lead men away from lasting love, happiness, marriage, and God.
• Since I have been at least partially manipulated by the world, I confess “the idea” of being an infernal venus has some draw to it, but with a little faith, I can shift my focus and try to “strip myself of envy”.
• Proverbs 14:30
• “A sound heart is the life of the flesh: but envy the rottenness of the bones.”
• -I have enough rotting on my body right now, I think I’d like to keep my bones. When I am trying to be the infernal Venus, I will always be jealous, critical, cruel, and resentful. When I am trying to be a woman that brings herself and her man to God, I am charitable, kind, and grateful. And nothing beats this promise.
• “And again, verily I say unto you that it is your privilege, and a promise I give unto you […]that inasmuch as you strip yourselves from jealousies and fears, and humble yourselves before me, for ye are not sufficiently humble, the veil shall be rent and you shall see me and know that I am—not with the carnal neither natural mind, but with the spiritual.” D&C 67:10
• So here goes my prayer to fight jealousy and fear with charity and gratitude so that I can see and know God. I think it might make me more attractive to have a little more of His image in my face and a little less of the green-eyed-jelly-monster’s. Who’s with me?

Hands

Felt discouraged today. This weekend, my hands and forearms have been so painfully locked up, I feel drained of every energy. Couldn't get my girls ready for church or well... just couldn't do a lot. Typing is difficult so I will just say, I found comfort in this beautiful talk by President Monson.

http://classic.lds.org/ldsorg/v/index.jsp?hideNav=1&locale=0&sourceId=5b762150a447b010VgnVCM1000004d82620a____&vgnextoid=2354fccf2b7db010VgnVCM1000004d82620aRCRD

I will try to remember that I only have one thing that I have to do with my hands:

I said to the man who stood at the gate of the year: “Give me a light that I may tread safely into the unknown.” And he replied: “Go out into the darkness and put your hand into the hand of God. That shall be to you better than light and safer than a known way.” (M. Louise Haskins, in The Oxford Dictionary of Quotations, 2d ed., London: Oxford Univ. Press, 1953, p. 239.)

As sisters in Zion, we'll all work together; The blessings of God on our labors we'll seek. We'll build up his kingdom with earnest endeavor; We'll comfort the weary and strengthen the weak.

The errand of angels is given to women; And this is a gift that, as sisters, we claim; To do whatsoever is gentle and human, To cheer and to bless in humanity's name.

How vast is our purpose, how broad is our mission, If we but fulfill it in spirit and deed. Oh, naught but the Spirit's divinest tuition Can give us the wisdom to truly succeed. --Emily H. Woodmansee.

Scritptures

I work with Primary in church. The theme for the year is "I know the scriptures are true." As part of the theme we have challenged al our children to read from the scriptures every day. I have also decided to rededicate myself. Buddy and Mary wake up every morning and do scripture time (they have been for a while), but now Anna brings me the scriptures and reminds me that she has to do it everyday. As I read over Loo's insights from Christmas it reminds me that God's words are available to help us in a very individual way, but they come more readily when we are dedicated to reading them.

In your face

• Wish I could say "in your face" in some really cool sounding way, but at the same time I didn't really mean it like that.
• Tonight, I looked in the mirror, I thought about all the things I usually notice-- my dark under eye circles, newly forming wrinkles, and blotchy acne-- and then I thought about something unusual for me. This scripture:
• “Can ye look up to God … with a pure heart and clean hands … , having the image of God engraven upon your countenances?” (Alma 5:19).
• I feel like a "silly woman" and like eating another slice of my familiar tasting humble pie. Do you think the image of God upon our countenances would be beautiful? Like a magazine cover?
• Or maybe like something else... and then I thought of women I know who have the image of God in their countenances, and they are so beautiful, warm, and good to be around. So my Christmas question for myself is- what if I sought to think and do those things that would change my countenance, in the way I'd really most like it changed? How would I be different?

Eat, Pray, Love vs. Reality

• Watched the movie Eat, Pray, Love recently. Ms. Roberts had some really beautiful moments and a few... hmm? ones. Since then, I've been thinking. What chord was off-tune? My recent gospel study brought me back to reality.
• Some people take themselves so seriously that they think they cannot feel complete until they find themselves. Some abandon family, occupation, and education in this quest to discover who they are.
• George Bernard Shaw said: “Life isn’t about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.” Don’t worry about searching for who you are; focus your energies on creating the kind of person you want to be! You will discover that as you pursue that journey you will not only find yourself, but chances are you will be pleasantly surprised and proud of the person you find along the way.
• Do not procrastinate a minute longer. Every moment is precious. Determine now that you will make of your lives something remarkable!-- Elder Joseph F. Wirthlin
• Isn't this statement far more powerful than the idea that you might only really be able to "find" yourself by having millions and going to india to meditate all day? Really? Can only the wealthy do all that is required to "find" oneself? What about those of us who by location, finances, or physical limitations are "stuck". Are we empty soulless sacks.
• NO! REALITY. Each of us has the power to create ourselves and by doing so we can look back with surprise and pride at the person (whole person-character, talents, education, personality, and relationships) we've created. So if who we are is our character, and if character is built, than "ourselves" never need be found especially if they have never been built.